Get an Outlet!

Being a busy mother can be very overwhelming. From the time you wake up to the time the last child goes to bed, you are on edge trying to make sure they have everything they need. Even when “they” are relaxing, there is a 85% chance you are not. This is where I always suggest an outlet/hobby.

In the winter I pick up crocheting. It helps me escape my world when my girls are asleep. I also like to do a lot of DIY projects. Little things like this help me release any stress I may have bottled up during the day. Another good way to release stress is the gym.  I currently go for at least 45 minutes for 4 days out of the week (as my sitter permits) and it really helps with my work related stress. It is not good for us mothers to always be on edge. We run possibilities for lashing out on those who do not deserve the lashing.

This goes for my SAHM as well. My hat goes off to you ladies. When I had my last 2 girls and was home, I was losing my mind. I started cleaning anything I could get my hands on; and although I love my daughters tremendously, this mami needed some adult time. I went back to work exhausted but excited to finally have full conversations with people. So for my SAHM, I believe your best outlet would be to have a day out of each week or however time permits, to get out of the house to just have some “me time”. I feel you would really benefit from it.

The point is being a mother is not an easy job. It is hard! There is no manual to YOUR child[ren]. So every mother learns as she goes. So EVERY mother deserves time to herself if she can get that time or if you are one the mothers that really does not have any support; find an outlet/hobby. I pray for all the working mothers out there that have a lot on their plate and I am here if you every need to vent ­čÖé

Chores….

So recently I mentioned to someone that my 7 year old has chores. To my surprise they called me strict and crazy?! I feel chores are very essential for my daughter to learn responsibility.  My daughters chores consist of cleaning her room, helping pick up after her 2 baby sisters, dusting and wiping down the sink in the bathroom. My daughter is short for her age so we have not learned dishes just yet.  The way I see it, if I do everything for my daughter now; when she becomes a pre-teen/teenager, it will be much harder to get her to do things.

We have to teach responsibility to our kids at a young age. Build good habits from the start. I grew up in a traditional Puerto Rican family. When Saturday came around, music was blasted and everyone was to get up to clean. My chores consisted of cleaning my room, dusting, vacuuming and putting groceries away. Sometimes I hated it as a teenager but then it just became routine. Now that I am a mother myself, I get it. It’s tough cleaning up after myself, let alone 3 additional little ones. So assigning chores just helps me out so much. When my 2 younger girls get older, they will have their chores as well. The more we work together, the better it will be.

One thing that helps my daughter is a chore chart. I list her chores and my chores so she does not feel left out. I’ve included the link in this post today!

Chore chart

Top Struggles of a Working Mom

Being a working mother leaves little to no time for anything we have to do outside of being mom and working. I find myself daily trying to strategically plan my time leaving work just so I can pick up everything I may need for the house. Many of my struggles include:

  1. Buying Diapers and Wipes: Usually I try to run to the store before picking up my 2 little ones from the sitter. Lately I have completely relied on Amazon and their convenience of subscribing for items to automatically deliver to my door step on a monthly basis. Doing this has been a complete life saver
  2. Buying Bulk Garbage Bags: ┬áI have 2 girls under the age of 2! So my home produces a lot of garbage. ┬áLet’s be real, we have so much on our plates, these little things are just hard to keep track of, so this is something I also have automatically delivered. The great thing about Amazon subscriptions is that you can time it to be every 2, 3, 4 months!
  3. Walk through your house and make a list! I have a Galaxy Note for this reason. I have found myself having to constantly make a list just to ensure that I do not forget anything. I then take my list and cross reference with my mobile rebate apps. The apps I use mostly are Ibotta and Checkout 51.  Think of it as cash for a rainy day.  Ibotta
  4. Last but not least, Online shopping has been my go to. Have you ever tried going to the mall with 2 under the age of 2? It’s super difficult, let me tell ya! ┬áSo I do a lot of my shopping online way ahead of time so I can make sure it gets to me on time. I also shop through ebates when applicable just to easily get some cash back while I am at it. I also have Amazon Prime; what a life saver. I get everything within 2 days and you can get Amazon deliveries on Sundays!!!!!

Amazon Prime

Is Co-Parenting Possible?

I know many of my readers are possibly single mothers raising their children alone thinking co-parenting is not a possibility; Put aside the pride because it is.

I have a good friend of mine who is a co-parenting success story. Although he and the mother of his son have split up and moved on, they still continue to do things together as a family with their son. They hang out together, go to functions together and even celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day together. It is a beautiful and healthy thing for that little boy to have 2 understanding parents.

Yes I know there are many instances where co-parenting is not possible because I am living it. My oldest daughter has a different father and I have tried every way possible: Notebooks, text messages, mediators and the list goes on.  It is almost 8 years later and I have given up.

Co-parenting takes 2 understanding and mature adults in order for it to be a successful relationship. So many people are so bitter about the break up for years to come or their pride just simply will not allow them to do the right thing. Many just make too many assumptions about how the other parent would feel if they wanted a successful co-parenting relationship and just give up before trying.

Any time a single mother ask for my advise before going to Family Court, I always say the same thing.

  1. Be reasonable! You did not make the child alone and it is important for the child to see both parents consistently. It is essential to their development as a person believe or not.
  2. Leave what happened in the past…..IN THE PAST!
  3. Be willing to compromise because you may not like what the judge will end up deciding.
  4. Keep in mind your child is rooting for both of you because at the end of the day, your child loves both of his/her parents.

I know their are many out there they may not agree with me and that is perfectly ok. But if you came from a broken home, try to think back to when you were in your child’s position. ┬áTry to do what is right instead of doing things out of spite cause those spiteful things may come back to bite you.

Co-Parent Log

Fast Legal Documents

My New Journey….

I have abandoned my blog for far too long. I have been so busy with working a full time job and being a mother to 3 gorgeous little girls.

I had recently decided to take the plunge and finally apply to law school. This has been my life long dream (career-wise) to attend law school and become a lawyer. To my surprise I was accepted to a school in Florida. I was in disbelief when I seen the acceptance email. Florida has always been my final destination for the rest of my life. This where I’ve always dreamed of owning my own home and giving my daughters a quality of life I never had. Since a working mami’s job is never done, I have decided to not work while I attend law school to fully focus on my classes and give 110%. Some people have already started to give their unwanted opinions about my decision, but I have learned to ignore and move on. While I attend school full-time, I will find other ways to make extra cash. ┬á Something you will learn about me while reading my blog is that I can never sit still.

So ladies it is never too late to educate yourself. You will never miss your prime or you will never be too old to educate yourself by any means.

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Every Mom Deserves….

Let’s finish this sentence together now shall we?

Every mom deserves a day off….

Every mom deserves a vacation away from everything….

Every mom deserves a day at the spa….

Every mom deserves a night out….

Every mom deserves a glass of wine….

Every mom deserves a shopping spree…..

Every mom deserves anything and everything that can keep her sanity because being a mom is hard work. Ladies do not sell yourself short or feel guilty for taking a sip of that wine or stepping out to have fun with some friends. Do not let anyone shame you cause you bottle fed over breast feeding or vice versa. Do not let anyone tell you that you did not birth your child cause you had a c-section versus pushing your baby out. Us moms go through a lot. Sometimes we have to hold every emotion in so our children will not have to worry. I do not know about you, but I am guilty for going into the bathroom and crying a little. Sometimes us moms need a release, especially the single moms out there. Cheers to my all the moms out there! You deserve the world and so much more!!!!

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For My Tired Mamas!

My day starts as follows:

5:15am-Up to get myself ready

5:45am-Load up the kiddos in the car to grab my sitter

6:30am-On my way to drop my oldest off at my grandparents who put her on the bus for me

7am-On my way to work

7:30a-3:30p-My work day.

4p-I am at home grabbing my 2 little ones and the sitter to head to my grandparents and drop sitter off on the way.

4:30p-6p-At my grandparents house till my daughter is done with the after school program that is closer to their house.

6:30p- On my way home with all three of my girls

By the time I get home I am sooooo exhausted! Not to mention I have been studying for my LSATS when they are in bed by 7:30p. Since my youngest is only 5 months old, It’s still hard to get a full nights sleep because she is still waking up at 11pm and again around 3am. My job makes everyone work a rotational Saturday once a month and since yesterday was my saturday to work, today I woke up still exhausted from my week. Then I look into the 3 little faces that depend on me every day; I take a deep breath and I keep it moving. Life is not easy, I am not afraid to admit that life is HARD! You get out of life what you put into it. I turned 30 years old last month and when I tell people about Law School I get mixed responses. Some people say I am crazy and others applaud my determination.

Law school has always been a dream of mine. Yes I have children right now but I want to continue giving a life to my children I was unable to have because my mother was limited. My ability to get through school while being a mother has given my daughters the ultimate example of a wonder woman. We ladies, can do it all. Put our minds to it and put our souls into it. My daughter goes around telling people, “my mami works so hard. I am going to be just like my mami when I grow up”. I sit and I think to myself and I pray that she is so much better than me. I always tell the people around me that I am raising strong, independent ladies. My girls will know how to defend themselves in this cruel world. I may not be able to protect them all of their lives and there may be some decisions they will make that I will not agree with but my girls will make it in life. I pray everyday they will go farther than I did cause I placed that seed in them.